BUSINESSDAY.COM reports that in August, 2003, a study was released revealing that money can't buy happiness.
Beginning in 1975, University of Southern California researcher Richard Easterlin surveyed 1500 persons annually and found that...
"Many people are under the illusion that the more money we make, the happier we'll be. We put all of our resources into making money at the expense of our family and our health…The problem is we don't realize that our material wants increase with the amount of money we make."
The study discovered happiness was related to quality time with loved ones, good health, being friendly, having an optimistic outlook, exercising self-control, and possessing a deep sense of ethics.
This is why Paul said, "But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." (1 Timothy 6:8)
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
A Person of Influence
What does it mean to be a person of influence? There's a lot of answers to that question, but the important thing to remember is it’s really not a question of "if", it’s a question of "what kind" and "how much".
You are an influencer -- at home, at work, at church. If you want, you can be a positive influence in others -- you can make a difference in people’s lives.
In 30 years they will be able to look back and say, "I made this good decision because I followed your advice. I developed this habit, because I followed your example. I became what I am because you believed in me, you challenged me, you inspired me, you encouraged me, and you never gave up on me. You poured life into me, and it made all the difference."
Decide today that you will be a person of influence.
Decide today that you will pay the price that must be paid.
Decide today that you choose influence over popularity, that you will choose pleasing God over pleasing people.
Decide today that you will pour your life into others without fear and without reservation, so that your influence will make a difference for years to come!
You are an influencer -- at home, at work, at church. If you want, you can be a positive influence in others -- you can make a difference in people’s lives.
In 30 years they will be able to look back and say, "I made this good decision because I followed your advice. I developed this habit, because I followed your example. I became what I am because you believed in me, you challenged me, you inspired me, you encouraged me, and you never gave up on me. You poured life into me, and it made all the difference."
Decide today that you will be a person of influence.
Decide today that you will pay the price that must be paid.
Decide today that you choose influence over popularity, that you will choose pleasing God over pleasing people.
Decide today that you will pour your life into others without fear and without reservation, so that your influence will make a difference for years to come!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
God's Power
Many people say they want God's resurrection power, but they forget one crucial part. What comes before a resurrection? Death. Pain. Suffering. Just as Jesus endured these things on the road to his resurrection, we can expect to endure them, too. God's power will not save you from suffering, but his power will get you through it. You can count on it.
God's power didn't save Joseph from prison, but God's power got him through prison--and through his power Joseph rose to prominence in Egypt and his family was restored.
God's power didn't prevent Moses from spending years exiled in Midian, but through God's power Moses was able to stand up to Pharaoh and lead God's people out of Egypt.
God's power didn't prevent Nehemiah from becoming a slave to King Artaxerxes, but through God's power Nehemiah was able to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and was instrumental in bringing about revival in Israel.
God's power didn't prevent Jairus' daughter from dying, but through God's power she was raised to life.
God's power didn't prevent Bartimeus from being born blind, but through God's power his sight was restored.
God's power didn't prevent Paul and Silas from being beaten and thrown in jail, but through God's power their chains were broken and salvation came to the house of the Philippian jailer.
God's power didn't keep Paul out of prison, but through God's power he wrote the letters that have inspired countless millions in their spiritual life for the last 2000 years.
God's power is available to you--his resurrection power.
The result of understanding who Christ is, and understanding who you are in Christ, is that you will experience his resurrection power. Power that will change you from the inside out. Power over sin. Power over despair. Power over fear. His power is available to you.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
The Blame Game!
A couple of years ago a woman filed a $1 million lawsuit against Dr Pepper. She had been chosen to participate in their halftime punt-catching promotion during a college football game. She didn't win, but it was, according to her suit, Dr. Pepper's fault.
She had been told she would receive three punts from a kick-simulation machine (catch one, $50,000; two, $250,000; all three, $1 million) and was told that the punts would come down in the general vicinity of the 50-yard line.
She missed all three because, she said, her they came down too far away: one landed on the 44, one landed on the 45, and one landed on the 42. Therefore, she argued, it was Dr. Pepper's fault that she didn't win $1 million.
Sometimes it's difficult for us to admit it's our fault. It's difficult to admit the role we play in our failures, in our setbacks, and our sin. It's not easy to say: "I had a chance, but I blew it." Too often, instead of fixing the problem, we settle for fixing blame -- on anyone others than ourselves.
Whether it's in our relationships, our career, or our spiritual life, improvement (and, ultimately, mastery) begins with accepting responsibility for our own limitations, mistakes, and failures.
When faced with his own sin, King David said to God:
"I have sinned greatly... Now, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing." (1 Chronicles 21:8)
When you don't perform up to par — professionally, personally, or spiritually — you've got two choices. You can fix the blame or you can fix the problem. The first step in problem solving -- the first step toward wholeness — is taking responsibility. From there, we begin moving forward.
She had been told she would receive three punts from a kick-simulation machine (catch one, $50,000; two, $250,000; all three, $1 million) and was told that the punts would come down in the general vicinity of the 50-yard line.
She missed all three because, she said, her they came down too far away: one landed on the 44, one landed on the 45, and one landed on the 42. Therefore, she argued, it was Dr. Pepper's fault that she didn't win $1 million.
Sometimes it's difficult for us to admit it's our fault. It's difficult to admit the role we play in our failures, in our setbacks, and our sin. It's not easy to say: "I had a chance, but I blew it." Too often, instead of fixing the problem, we settle for fixing blame -- on anyone others than ourselves.
Whether it's in our relationships, our career, or our spiritual life, improvement (and, ultimately, mastery) begins with accepting responsibility for our own limitations, mistakes, and failures.
When faced with his own sin, King David said to God:
"I have sinned greatly... Now, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing." (1 Chronicles 21:8)
When you don't perform up to par — professionally, personally, or spiritually — you've got two choices. You can fix the blame or you can fix the problem. The first step in problem solving -- the first step toward wholeness — is taking responsibility. From there, we begin moving forward.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
ENTHUSIASM!
FedEx CEO and founder Fred Smith first developed the idea for an innovative air-freight company while he was a student at Yale University. His professor was less than impressed; the paper Smith submitted outlining the concept earned him a "C". Thirty years later, FedEx is the world's largest express transportation company, with 128,000 employees and more than $7 billion in capital.
This short-sighted professor didn't take a few things into consideration. One is Smith's persistence—he simply refuses to give up. Another is his resourcefulness—when plan 'A' doesn't work, there is always a plan 'B' to put in motion.
Most important, however, is Smith's ability to recruit others to his vision. People want to be part of what he is involved in—even to the point of sacrifice. In the early days, for example, his pilots often refueled company jets with their own money. Sometimes they sat on paychecks for months to help keep the company afloat.
How does he do it? How does he command such devotion from his employees?
Fred Smith's greatest asset is his enthusiastic determination to get the job done. It sounds like a cliché, but he believes in what he is doing. As a result, he inspires loyalty.
The Christians in Philippi offered Paul this same kind of loyalty. They supported him through prayer, hard work, and sacrificial giving. Why? Maybe they were inspired by the enthusiasm they observed in Paul when their church was first founded.
You remember the story: After being beaten in the town square, Paul and Silas were thrown in jail. They were singing hymns late into the night when an earthquake came and shook the foundations of their jail cell, freeing them from their chains. Paul could have escaped. He could have left Philippi and never come back, but instead he stayed, and took the opportunity to lead the jailer to Christ. Paul believed in what he was doing, and his enthusiastic determination to spread the gospel encouraged the Philippian believers. [Acts 16]
Your enthusiasm has a profound effect on others. When you approach anything with an upbeat commitment to get the job done, people begin to take notice. When they see that you believe in what you are doing, they become willing to join in the process.
The secret, then, is to pour your life into something that captures your heart, and give it all you've got. Solomon said, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." (Ecclesiastes 9:10) You will find that your zeal is contagious, and it will spread to the people around you.
This short-sighted professor didn't take a few things into consideration. One is Smith's persistence—he simply refuses to give up. Another is his resourcefulness—when plan 'A' doesn't work, there is always a plan 'B' to put in motion.
Most important, however, is Smith's ability to recruit others to his vision. People want to be part of what he is involved in—even to the point of sacrifice. In the early days, for example, his pilots often refueled company jets with their own money. Sometimes they sat on paychecks for months to help keep the company afloat.
How does he do it? How does he command such devotion from his employees?
Fred Smith's greatest asset is his enthusiastic determination to get the job done. It sounds like a cliché, but he believes in what he is doing. As a result, he inspires loyalty.
The Christians in Philippi offered Paul this same kind of loyalty. They supported him through prayer, hard work, and sacrificial giving. Why? Maybe they were inspired by the enthusiasm they observed in Paul when their church was first founded.
You remember the story: After being beaten in the town square, Paul and Silas were thrown in jail. They were singing hymns late into the night when an earthquake came and shook the foundations of their jail cell, freeing them from their chains. Paul could have escaped. He could have left Philippi and never come back, but instead he stayed, and took the opportunity to lead the jailer to Christ. Paul believed in what he was doing, and his enthusiastic determination to spread the gospel encouraged the Philippian believers. [Acts 16]
Your enthusiasm has a profound effect on others. When you approach anything with an upbeat commitment to get the job done, people begin to take notice. When they see that you believe in what you are doing, they become willing to join in the process.
The secret, then, is to pour your life into something that captures your heart, and give it all you've got. Solomon said, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." (Ecclesiastes 9:10) You will find that your zeal is contagious, and it will spread to the people around you.
Monday, October 20, 2008
A Safe Place
It's 10:43 Monday morning and I'm sitting in a Starbucks in Newtown while waiting on Marvina to do a few things around town.
Watching people come and go with their beverage in hand is an interesting past-time. The majority appear to have everything anyone could ever want out of life.
Appearances, however, are deceiving. Because we live in an imperfect world, people experience hurt, and I'm sure some of these people are hurting deeply; they just don't show it. They're hurt by accidents, by illnesses. But the deepest hurts in life will come from people.
Relationships are the greatest blessing and the greatest joy in our lives. They are also the greatest source of stress in our lives. People do hurt us, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally, sometimes accidentally, and sometimes on purpose.
That’s why at CLC we are committed to building an atmosphere of openness and honesty and authenticity. We want to create a safe place where real people can share real problems without being judged, and by being accepted and loved. They can find safety and be able to share.
If you've been hurt in any way we want you to discover God's peace. Let Him sooth your wounds, and satisfy every one of your needs!
Watching people come and go with their beverage in hand is an interesting past-time. The majority appear to have everything anyone could ever want out of life.
Appearances, however, are deceiving. Because we live in an imperfect world, people experience hurt, and I'm sure some of these people are hurting deeply; they just don't show it. They're hurt by accidents, by illnesses. But the deepest hurts in life will come from people.
Relationships are the greatest blessing and the greatest joy in our lives. They are also the greatest source of stress in our lives. People do hurt us, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally, sometimes accidentally, and sometimes on purpose.
That’s why at CLC we are committed to building an atmosphere of openness and honesty and authenticity. We want to create a safe place where real people can share real problems without being judged, and by being accepted and loved. They can find safety and be able to share.
If you've been hurt in any way we want you to discover God's peace. Let Him sooth your wounds, and satisfy every one of your needs!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Getting It Done!
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we've already done. —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. —Herm Albright
There is no such thing as a great talent without great will-power —Honore de Balzac
Luck is being ready for the chance. —James Frank Dobie
Unless a man has trained himself for his chance, the chance will only make him ridiculous. —William Matthews.
Opportunity is sometimes hard to recognize if you're only looking for a lucky break. —Monta Crane
For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him he must regard himself as greater than he is. —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Opportunity's favorite disguise is trouble. —Frank Tyger
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. —Herm Albright
There is no such thing as a great talent without great will-power —Honore de Balzac
Luck is being ready for the chance. —James Frank Dobie
Unless a man has trained himself for his chance, the chance will only make him ridiculous. —William Matthews.
Opportunity is sometimes hard to recognize if you're only looking for a lucky break. —Monta Crane
For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him he must regard himself as greater than he is. —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Opportunity's favorite disguise is trouble. —Frank Tyger
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
What Matters Most
The vision of Christian Life Center is to create a place where people discover God and experience His power in Life-changing ways! However, there are some strategic focus points or values under which the whole vision rests; values that we have to lift up powerfully and live out passionately.
Values are the filters through which we want to funnel what we do as a church. These are the building blocks or foundations on which the rest of the structure sits.
These values are the guiding principles that will help us make decisions on a daily basis and define what we stand for as a church. They help answer the question, “What matters most?” Because if everything is important then nothing is important!
Core values – everybody has them. As a matter of fact, we all live by a core set of values either consciously or unconsciously. They really are the driving force behind our lives. So you might be asking, "how does one define a value?” There are many definitions but the one best one is this: values are “a set of core beliefs by which one measures his or her priorities in life.”
In other words, values are an essential part in keeping one’s life on track. When we clarify our values, we begin to lay down a plumb line for all our decisions. They help us to navigate as we face future crossroads.
For the next four weeks we’re going to be talking about:
October 19 Loving God
October 26 Loving Others
November 2 Missional Living
November 9 Spiritual Formation
These are the things that matter most to Christian Life Center! These are the four defining values that bring clarity to who we are as a community of faith. Join us as we talk about foundations on which we will build a great church.
This week we'll look at Mark 12:28-31. Jesus said that we're to love God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind and will and our strength. That means loving him with all that we are: our emotions, our intellect, our innermost being, our outward actions. The focus of all we do should be, first and foremost, on loving God!
Values are the filters through which we want to funnel what we do as a church. These are the building blocks or foundations on which the rest of the structure sits.
These values are the guiding principles that will help us make decisions on a daily basis and define what we stand for as a church. They help answer the question, “What matters most?” Because if everything is important then nothing is important!
Core values – everybody has them. As a matter of fact, we all live by a core set of values either consciously or unconsciously. They really are the driving force behind our lives. So you might be asking, "how does one define a value?” There are many definitions but the one best one is this: values are “a set of core beliefs by which one measures his or her priorities in life.”
In other words, values are an essential part in keeping one’s life on track. When we clarify our values, we begin to lay down a plumb line for all our decisions. They help us to navigate as we face future crossroads.
For the next four weeks we’re going to be talking about:
October 19 Loving God
October 26 Loving Others
November 2 Missional Living
November 9 Spiritual Formation
These are the things that matter most to Christian Life Center! These are the four defining values that bring clarity to who we are as a community of faith. Join us as we talk about foundations on which we will build a great church.
This week we'll look at Mark 12:28-31. Jesus said that we're to love God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind and will and our strength. That means loving him with all that we are: our emotions, our intellect, our innermost being, our outward actions. The focus of all we do should be, first and foremost, on loving God!
Lights...Camera...Action!
John Ruskin said, "What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do."
We'll take issue with part of this statement, since we know that what we believe (i.e. our faith) is, in fact, of great consequence.
We also know, however, that unless what we believe is expressed in what we do, our beliefs aren't fully genuine. [James 2:26]
So, nitpicking aside, look at what Ruskin is saying. He's saying that talking, planning, evaluating, analyzing, and theorizing won't get us where we need to be. What we need to do, more than anything else, is take action.
Jack Canfield (The Chicken Soup for the Soul guy) said, "The world doesn't pay for what you know; it pays you for what you do."
Canfield goes on to say (in his book, The Success Principles): "When you take action, you trigger all kinds of things that will inevitably carry you to success...You begin to learn things from your experience that cannot be learned from listening to others or from reading books. You begin to get feedback about how to do it better, more efficiently, and more quickly...
You begin to attract others who will support and encourage you. All manner of good things begin to flow in your direction once you begin to take action."
What action have you been putting off too long?
We'll take issue with part of this statement, since we know that what we believe (i.e. our faith) is, in fact, of great consequence.
We also know, however, that unless what we believe is expressed in what we do, our beliefs aren't fully genuine. [James 2:26]
So, nitpicking aside, look at what Ruskin is saying. He's saying that talking, planning, evaluating, analyzing, and theorizing won't get us where we need to be. What we need to do, more than anything else, is take action.
Jack Canfield (The Chicken Soup for the Soul guy) said, "The world doesn't pay for what you know; it pays you for what you do."
Canfield goes on to say (in his book, The Success Principles): "When you take action, you trigger all kinds of things that will inevitably carry you to success...You begin to learn things from your experience that cannot be learned from listening to others or from reading books. You begin to get feedback about how to do it better, more efficiently, and more quickly...
You begin to attract others who will support and encourage you. All manner of good things begin to flow in your direction once you begin to take action."
What action have you been putting off too long?
Monday, October 13, 2008
Disappointments
Bible teacher Kay Arthur was bitterly disappointed when she contracted a heart infection that forced her to leave her work as a missionary in Mexico. "I felt like a failure," she said. "Depression set in until I cried, 'Father, whatever you want.'"
She went on to say, "It would be several years before I'd see how He'd use those formative years of study in Mexico to prepare me to write inductive Bible studies that would eventually reach fifty-two countries."
"My disappointments aren't over," she continues. "Pain and trials are almost constant companions, but never enemies. They drive me into His sovereign arms. There He takes my disappointments and works everything together for good."
(from Nelson's Complete Book of Stories, Illustrations and Quotes.)
She went on to say, "It would be several years before I'd see how He'd use those formative years of study in Mexico to prepare me to write inductive Bible studies that would eventually reach fifty-two countries."
"My disappointments aren't over," she continues. "Pain and trials are almost constant companions, but never enemies. They drive me into His sovereign arms. There He takes my disappointments and works everything together for good."
(from Nelson's Complete Book of Stories, Illustrations and Quotes.)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Churches
A survey by the Barna Research Group has pinpointed the reasons why Americans choose a church. A nationwide sampling of Americans were asked to respond to the following statement:
"For most people there are a few key factors that determine whether or not they will return to a church they have visited. For each factor I mention please tell me if that factor would be extremely important, pretty important, somewhat important, not too important or not at all important in your decision of whether or not to return to a church you had visited."
Of the 22 factors named, including worship styles and community outreaches, the top eight reasons for selecting a church, in order of importance, were:
• Theological beliefs
• How much people care
• Quality of sermons
• Friendliness to visitors
• Help to poor and disadvantaged
• Quality of children’ programs
• How much you like your pastor
• Denomination
(From the Barna Research Group)
"For most people there are a few key factors that determine whether or not they will return to a church they have visited. For each factor I mention please tell me if that factor would be extremely important, pretty important, somewhat important, not too important or not at all important in your decision of whether or not to return to a church you had visited."
Of the 22 factors named, including worship styles and community outreaches, the top eight reasons for selecting a church, in order of importance, were:
• Theological beliefs
• How much people care
• Quality of sermons
• Friendliness to visitors
• Help to poor and disadvantaged
• Quality of children’ programs
• How much you like your pastor
• Denomination
(From the Barna Research Group)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
WHAT PEOPLE WITH MONEY SAY ABOUT MONEY
In light of the current economic crisis in our country I thought I'd post of few interesting remarks from those who know what having tons of money is all about!
"I have made millions, but they have brought me no happiness." -- John D. Rockefeller
"I know of nothing more despicable and pathetic than a man who devotes all the ho urs of the waking day to the making of money for money's sake." -- John D. Rockefeller
"I am the most miserable man on earth." -- John Jacob Astor
"What can I say? I only know that I am desolate." --J. Paul Getty
"I was happier when I was doing a mechanic's job." -- Henry Ford
"Millionaires seldom smile." -- Andrew Carnegie
"Money has only one use -- to give one independence from his enemies." -- Humphrey Bogart
"Money doesn't talk, it swears." -- Bob Dylan
"Money often costs too much." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love." -- John Lennon & Paul McCartney
"I have made millions, but they have brought me no happiness." -- John D. Rockefeller
"I know of nothing more despicable and pathetic than a man who devotes all the ho urs of the waking day to the making of money for money's sake." -- John D. Rockefeller
"I am the most miserable man on earth." -- John Jacob Astor
"What can I say? I only know that I am desolate." --J. Paul Getty
"I was happier when I was doing a mechanic's job." -- Henry Ford
"Millionaires seldom smile." -- Andrew Carnegie
"Money has only one use -- to give one independence from his enemies." -- Humphrey Bogart
"Money doesn't talk, it swears." -- Bob Dylan
"Money often costs too much." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love." -- John Lennon & Paul McCartney
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Teamwork Pt. 2
I thought this would be a good follow up to my previous post on teamwork...gets the point across wonderfully well!
Sportscaster and former baseball great Ralph Keiner tells this story:
After the season in which I hit 37 home runs, I asked Pittsburgh Pirate general manager Branch Rickey for a raise. And he refused.
"I led the league in home runs," I reminded him.
"Where did we finish?" Rickey asked me.
"Last," I replied.
"Well," Rickey said, "we can finish last without you."
Sportscaster and former baseball great Ralph Keiner tells this story:
After the season in which I hit 37 home runs, I asked Pittsburgh Pirate general manager Branch Rickey for a raise. And he refused.
"I led the league in home runs," I reminded him.
"Where did we finish?" Rickey asked me.
"Last," I replied.
"Well," Rickey said, "we can finish last without you."
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Teamwork
Lyndon B. Johnson said, "There are no problems we cannot solve together, and very few we can solve by ourselves."
We see this in Nehemiah, each person doing his or her part to build the wall around the city of Jerusalem: "From that day on, half of my men did the work, while the other half were equipped with spears, shields, bows and armor. The officers posted themselves behind all the people of Judah who were building the wall." (Nehemiah 4:16-17)
Our tendency is to tackle our problems on our own, but this is the least effective strategy. We need to make a habit of enlisting others to help us face our challenges.
Nehemiah made sure that his workers had someone watching their backs; we need the same!
We see this in Nehemiah, each person doing his or her part to build the wall around the city of Jerusalem: "From that day on, half of my men did the work, while the other half were equipped with spears, shields, bows and armor. The officers posted themselves behind all the people of Judah who were building the wall." (Nehemiah 4:16-17)
Our tendency is to tackle our problems on our own, but this is the least effective strategy. We need to make a habit of enlisting others to help us face our challenges.
Nehemiah made sure that his workers had someone watching their backs; we need the same!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Think Twice, Speak Once
Cartoonist Bill Watterson of Calvin and Hobbes fame...which by the way, is absolutely one of my favorite comic strips of all time said, "Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
His words remind us of Solomon's: "He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity." (Proverbs 21:23)
Do you want to eliminate some trouble in your life before it happens? Learn to think twice and speak once.
His words remind us of Solomon's: "He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity." (Proverbs 21:23)
Do you want to eliminate some trouble in your life before it happens? Learn to think twice and speak once.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE
In his book, Becoming a Person of Influence, John Maxwell identifies nine steps for connecting with people.
1. Don't take people for granted.You can connect with people and lead them only if you value them.
2. Possess a Make-a-Difference mindset.
3. Initiate movement toward them.
4. Look for common ground.
5. Recognize and respect differences in personality.
6. Find the key to other's lives.
7. Communicate from the heart.
8. Share common experiences.No one ever achieves alone what he can do when partnering with others.
9. Once connected, move forward!
1. Don't take people for granted.You can connect with people and lead them only if you value them.
2. Possess a Make-a-Difference mindset.
3. Initiate movement toward them.
4. Look for common ground.
5. Recognize and respect differences in personality.
6. Find the key to other's lives.
7. Communicate from the heart.
8. Share common experiences.No one ever achieves alone what he can do when partnering with others.
9. Once connected, move forward!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
BEING OFFENDED
Last night at CLC I spoke about dealing with grudges/resentments. What do you do with the hurt in your life from being offended?
Many people go through their lives hanging on to hurts. In fact, many pastors I know are still nursing wounds from pastorates long, long ago. They say, along with David...
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence. (Psalm 73:13)
There's a way to deal with resentment and hurt. Dwelling on it, talking about it, reliving it—this isn't the solution. Looking for ways to get even isn't the solution. But I'll tell you what has worked for me. When I find myself reliving past hurts this is what I remind myself to do.
Don't talk about it. Most of us have been told that talking about such things will help with the "healing process" but in my case it only makes things worse. The less I talk about offences, the easier it is to get through them.
Do pray about it. I ask God to change my heart, and I ask him to pour blessings on whoever it is I resent.
Look for a chance to do good. I know a pastor who sends a check each year to a contentious church he served years ago—it's a step towards saying "I regret the hard feelings that developed between us."
Most of all, Let it go. We have to make a conscious decision: "I am not going to hang on to that any longer." Sometimes we have to "let it go" 10, 15, 20 times a day. However many times it takes, keep doing it until it works.
Resentment isn't worth it. Hanging on to hurts won't help those hurts heal any faster—but it will rob you of joy today. Let it go.
Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. (Psalm 73:1)
Many people go through their lives hanging on to hurts. In fact, many pastors I know are still nursing wounds from pastorates long, long ago. They say, along with David...
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence. (Psalm 73:13)
There's a way to deal with resentment and hurt. Dwelling on it, talking about it, reliving it—this isn't the solution. Looking for ways to get even isn't the solution. But I'll tell you what has worked for me. When I find myself reliving past hurts this is what I remind myself to do.
Don't talk about it. Most of us have been told that talking about such things will help with the "healing process" but in my case it only makes things worse. The less I talk about offences, the easier it is to get through them.
Do pray about it. I ask God to change my heart, and I ask him to pour blessings on whoever it is I resent.
Look for a chance to do good. I know a pastor who sends a check each year to a contentious church he served years ago—it's a step towards saying "I regret the hard feelings that developed between us."
Most of all, Let it go. We have to make a conscious decision: "I am not going to hang on to that any longer." Sometimes we have to "let it go" 10, 15, 20 times a day. However many times it takes, keep doing it until it works.
Resentment isn't worth it. Hanging on to hurts won't help those hurts heal any faster—but it will rob you of joy today. Let it go.
Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. (Psalm 73:1)
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